Nothing makes men hornier than a tight political race, so I would guess Iowa and New Hampshire have been the horniest states in the nation lately. The Iowa caucuses and New Hampshire primaries bring to town politicians, campaign workers, and political fanboys who — aside from diehard political fervor — bring their needs for an election night bae.
Browsing the sexy websites of high-end escorts based in the New England area this weekend, most of their calendars (yes, escorts have booking calendars) said they’d be in and around Manchester, New Hampshire, on Feb. 8 and 9. So I called up a few. Mollie Minx, 21, a New Hampshire-based professional escort, told me her business has picked up significantly — just this weekend, she met up with three clients who were in town for the event. A dominatrix who calls herself Princess Dandy, 24, said that while she typically gets no more than two requests on an average weekend, she had15 requests (all mostly last-minute, wanting to see her that day) over the pre-New-Hampshire-primary weekend.
Iowa escorts enjoyed the traffic spike last week too. Rachel*, 38, a Des Moines-based escort, said she woke up each morning last week with “five or six” calls from numbers she didn’t know — a rarity in a state not known for its tourism. “All week, I had excessive calls all the way up until 5 o’clock in the morning, because of the caucuses,” she said. Another Iowa escort named Kylie*, 31, said she noticed the same spike in calls from guys who were not her regulars. They were there for the caucuses, she said, and they were looking for company.
These political johns were older than their usual, local clientele, Mollie, Dandy, and Kylie all agreed (40s through mid-60s, compared with mostly twentysomething regulars), and were more direct in their initial approach. “They try to be as clear as possible, and send a list of what they’re looking for,” Dandy explained. She said that sort of professionalism and ease made it seem to her like “they’ve clearly done this before.”
The no. 1 sex request on those lists? Wanting to be in a submissive role, for a change. “A lot of them are looking to release some control,” said Dandy, “They don’t want to be in charge — most of these guys just want to give up some power.” And even though Mollie isn’t a dominatrix, per se, she also noticed the political junkies “tending toward the submissive side.” It makes sense: Dealing in power politics on a daily basis makes letting someone else take charge for a while sound pretty damn great. An actual spanking is better than a metaphorical spanking in the polls, after all.
Other than light BDSM, Mollie did grant one other wish: “I had one Republican hit me up with an old-fashioned outfit request,” she said, “but that’s kind of the way I dress anyway.” Ironic, considering how Millennials have critiqued the Republican party for being “old-fashioned.” Mollie describes her style on her website as “a 1950’s gal looking to entertain in true Mad Men style. Think Betty Page or Joan Holloway — heels, hose, anything goes.” A gallery of personal photos show her in full dirty-’50s-housewife mode: red and black lacy lingerie, high-waisted hose, reasonable pumps.
Of the five women who replied to requests for interviews, Mollie was the only one who asked her clients which way they swing; you know, Democrat or Republican. She ended up meeting with one Republican campaigner and two Democrats, and, while she couldn’t say which campaigns they worked on, she did get into “a Bernie-versus-Hillary debate with one guy a few days ago.” In the end, one side won her heart: “I might be biased, but I typically enjoy the company of Democrats more, just because I feel like our views line up a lot more,” Mollie said. (When it comes to sex talk, Bernie Sanders wrote a trashy erotic essay in the ’70s, while Marco Rubio proposed taking sex workers’ money in 2006.)
One thing men of both political parties did have in common was a need for discretion, and an understanding that getting caught with your pants down on the campaign trail wouldn’t be the best look. Kylie messaged with one guy who “was a mayor from out of town, and another was some sort of state representative,” but both evaded her requests for their names and occupations. Once she found out who they were (she researches all her clients online, and found them via Google and LinkedIn), Kylie didn’t end meet with either of them — she refuses any client who lies or withholds personal information. Mollie said the primaries guys did seem a bit more nervous about seeing an escort than her regular clients (I guess the stakes are higher when you’re working for a possible future president) but all practiced impeccable manners, some offering her a bottle of wine when she arrived. Kylie said a retired lawyer in his 60s with an extensive career background in politics treated her to Champagne and paid her more than her time cost — a much-appreciated gesture.
For politicos, the long, lonely campaign trail is paved with used condoms and good intentions. Whether they’re cheating on the road or just looking for some discreet fun, at least the evidence points to these guys not being total jackasses. They’re some of America’s best and brightest, after all. “Usually,” as Mollie said, “they’re just looking for a distraction, or some nice company.”
*Names have been changed.
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